Some Stats and Stats-Adjacent Poems (2016-2022)

An Optimization Haiku

That special sadness
When you think a function is
convex. But it's not.

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An R Limerick

There once was an error unforgettable
Instantly, it made R coding regrettable
Run, hide -- you can't escape
Stare in horror, mouth agape
At "object of type 'closure' is not subsettable"

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A Satirical Relase Note from Biden Data Science
(in the style of William Carlos Williams)

I have changed
the turnout scores
that were in
the database

and which you were
probably using to
target voters

Forgive me,
they were bad and these
might also be

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A Welcome Message to New Stanford Stats PhDs

Welcome to Stanford, our new Statistics pals --
your first year awaits, so have high morale!
And if ever in a dilemma
Just apply a Borel-Cantelli lemma
And thank god you’re not stuck at Cal!